Crown Zero

Thursday, November 28, 2002:

Jenna, you should have said "suck my asshole, you left tit!"
Christopher // 6:32 PM

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I just got soooooo fired from my job. Lets all quit our jobs, drop out of school, and be rockstars in Seattle. Like Tom says, bands take off so much faster at sea-level!
Joe // 6:09 AM

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Wednesday, November 27, 2002:

Jenna! No! Felix IS just kidding about scottsucks.com! It's just a running joke that started one day at the Union when Scott, Felix and I were fucking around on the internet, and I started putting in random URLs, like lickmyballs.edu or earwax.net. And one of the ones I tried was scottsucks.com. It became one of those things that I think are absolutely hilarious without really knowing why. I don't know Y, either. Anyways, yeah, it's all in good fun, I promise.
Christopher // 5:11 PM

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Tuesday, November 26, 2002:

Thanx guys... sorry about how wierd that blog was. I wrote it at 4 in the morning, and I just typed whatever the fuck came to me. I didn't realize how deep those feelings ran until I actually expressed them. Fuct up. Anyways, everything will be fine, 'cos I'm a stronger person than I used to be, and I have all you guys supporting me, so fuck them. Fuck them right in the ear.
Christopher // 1:36 PM

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My new blog is kickstartrock.blogspot.com of anyone was wondering. I guess everyone can know it, even non-circle-of-trustees. I think Jody is the only person I don't want to read my blog, so go ahead and let people know.

And Bogus, I am working on helping you. Everything will be cool, don't worry.
Joe // 8:17 AM

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Ok, Sloth knows my URL, so I'll post this here. He and Crystal fucked up my life so bad this summer, I'm not sure if I'll ever fully get over it. And now Crystal's back in town, and they're back together, and so for me the fear has begun. Sloth has blamed Joe, my dad, Tony, and me for the three months of psychological torture he and Crystal put me through this summer, but after months of recovery, I have come to blame no one but them. And having been pushed to within moments of suicide by them, it's a little hard to just forget about it. I was doing fine up until the party at Joe's, when I overheard Sloth telling Pentesco what a horrible person I am. I just snapped. I had had it. I grabbed his collar and bitched him out harsher than I have ever been to anyone. And somehow he turned it around at me, the exact same way he did all summer, and brought all the guilt and angst rushing back on. I think the reason I've been pushing for everyone to make peace with him is because I don't feel comfortable alone around him anymore. I'm afraid of him. And the other night I realized that he is never going to forgive any of us for anything. So I give up. I just hoped that he would be a minor player in my life for a while. But now Crystal's here, and I am so afraid. I dread the day the two of them come over here. Of course, I will never invite them. But Terri is their contact on the inside. She will invite them in, and they will infiltrate my sanctuary. And I will be forced to flee this place just like I did the Q Spot. Yes, that's something I never admitted, but I will now. There was no reason in the world for me to pay rent for two houses simultaneously, except to get me out of that living hell. God, just thinking about it now gives me that familiar queasiness in my stomach. That sinking feeling my heart would get when I came home and saw that purple jeep in the driveway. All those horrible conversations about me I heard through my curtain for a door. All those looks Crystal gave me. All those times Sloth came home and asked me why I hadn't cleaned the house up. Jesus god! It's a waking nightmare all over again!!! Please keep them away! Please! I don't think I can take it any more. We have our new crew, I have my new home. I just want to be happy. I don't want them to make me feel this way anymore! I don't want to hate myself! Help me please! What am I supposed to do?!?! It's going to start all over again. Aaaah!!!!!! No, this can't happen. It won't happen. Oh god no, I can't take this again. Oh Jesus, I can only imagine what they say about me. Oh fuck, no. Please, god, don't bring them back into my life.
Christopher // 3:56 AM

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Sunday, November 24, 2002:

I would like to extend a warm and loving thank you to Jenna and Reed for hosting a fantastic pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving feast, and lending their place to the cause. It was an incredible evening, and I am eternally greatful for their hospitatlity and fantasmic cooking. You guys are awesome, we love you!!

Joe // 7:43 AM

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